Ollie Plays the Piper

Playing the Piper -- A man walked into a bar pulling a wagon on which was a huge a salt water tank with a cute little octopus in it. He bellied up to the bar, with the wagon behind him, and announced, "My octopus, Ollie, can play any musical instrument you hand him and I have 60 bucks that says you can't stump him." A skeptic handed a violin into the tank and after examining it for a few seconds, the octopus played "The Flight of the Bumblebee." His partner tossed an olive into the tank and Ollie snatched it and ate it; and the skeptic handed over 60 dollars to the fellow with the wagon. Next, an accordion was dropped into the tank. Ollie grabbed it excitedly and fumbled around it briefly, then played "Lady of Spain" on it.  His shill collected another 60 bucks and backhanded him a fish fillet which was grabbed and eaten tout de suit. An ocarina elicited a British hornpipe,  the man collected another 60 and Ollie nibbled down a pickled starfish.  In barged a fellow with a set of bapipes. Ollie grabbed the instrument and began to fumble with it; his movements become more and more frenetic, with more and more splashing and the splashes going higher and higher. The seconds became minutes while the thrashing and splashing continued. A few minutes stretched into almost half an hour. The guy who'd brought in the bagpipes said to the guy with the wagon, "Well, give me my 60 bucks, dammit." Ollie's owner said, "Not, gonna happen, bub. As soon as Ollie figures out he can't fuck it, he'll play it, and when he does, I'll owe the little bastard a a double order of bouillabaisse."